Something I remember being very popular in high school was the concept of “taking a break” with your boyfriend or girlfriend, because we were all a bunch of emotionally immature teenagers who didn’t yet understand how grown-up relationships work.
Though it seems that taking a break isn’t something that died off with scheduled lunches in a cafeteria, because there are grown-ass adults still pulling this stunt like it’s not the worst idea in the world. Literally never go on a break.
1. It opens the door for tons of communication issues that might ruin any actual relationship you have left.
Unless you have very clear break terms that you both adhere to closely, this could turn into a true Ross-and-Rachel situation, minus the eventual baby and marriage (c’mon guys, it was a TV show). IRL, those two never would’ve gotten back together because Ross obviously fucked up, and Rachel was always too good for him anyway.
2. It’s just going to make the inevitable breakup much worse.
It gives both of you false hope that this thing is gonna work out, but if you’re having so many problems that you have to spend time apart, you know it probably won’t. You just end up going through the painful separation process twice, and that sucks.
3. It’s not actually going to fix any of the problems you’re having in your relationship.
Getting back together will feel great at first because you’ll both have missed each other, and so it’ll feel like all the things that pushed you into taking a break in the first place are solved. But give it a week or two, and everything will be back to how it was. People don’t just change like that after some time apart.
4. If you do get back together, that weird time apart will always be a sad part of your history.
You can always just break up and then get back together later. This way, things are more clear-cut and you don’t have to live in the weird in-between world that is a “break.”
5. It causes a major power imbalance in your relationship.
The person whose idea it was to do the break in the first place has the much upper hand now, and it’s hard to make things fair and level after that.
6. It might cause you to resent your partner, and that feeling can be hard to shake.
You’ll be stuck wondering why they needed to be apart from you if they say they love you, or why they needed to separate when you felt fine, and that might come back and bite at you during arguments or fights post-break. No one likes to be set aside.
7. It’s pretty immature.
If you wanna beak up with someone, JUST. BREAK. UP. Don’t do this baby step — be an adult and figure out how you feel before you make decisions that affect other people’s lives.
8. If you need time apart to figure out if you even like a person, you probably do not like that person.
Or in other words, you know by now when you’re into someone and when you’re just not. It’s PL to lose interest in someone — don’t take a break and hope the interest comes back. Just stop dating. Plenty of fish, or whatever.
9. If one of you sleeps with someone else during the break, it’ll feel a lot like cheating.
Again, just break up. Or try an open relationship. Or maybe don’t put a person’s life on hold because you got horny for someone new you met out at a bar. Unlike video games, you can’t press pause any time something gets tough in a relationship.
10. It’s a cop-out for having productive discussions and experiences that make your relationship stronger.
Instead of putting things on hold, you could try working through them — especially if you’ve been together a long time. When the going gets tough, the tough don’t go “on a break.”
11. If you really do need time to yourself, a quick break isn’t going to be enough.
If the break is your way of “working on yourself” so you can be a better girlfriend or boyfriend, I’m sorry, but three weeks of not texting isn’t going to do the trick. Change happens slowly and you should really just break up instead of trying to force something that’s not going to happen anyway.